Moving back in with your parents as an adult. 

Moving back in with your parents as an adult can seem like a huge step backwards, you may feel like you’re losing your independence and you may experience ridicule or teasing from friends or other family members. Luckily the latter hasn’t happened for me but I think I would miss living in my own place.
In reality, moving back home maybe the last thing you thought you’d do, but you’re doing it because you’re working towards a goal and have a family willing to offer you some support. 

For us, it’s the right decision and will help us achieve our goals. Saving for a deposit on a house and to create an emergency fund in the future.

At the moment we are spending half of our joint monthly income on rent, food and bills – this does not include any separate bills such as vehicle costs, mobile phones etc – and were expecting our rent alone to increase by (at least) 20% before the start of the next financial year (the beginning of April). The property market where we live has sky rocketed recently!

As it turns out we were informed in writing this week that the rent will not be increasing, this year, but it’s more than likely happening in 2018 instead. Having said that our utility bills are going up instead (!), but we can shop around for those.

We’ve spoken at length with my parents and plan to move in if the rent goes up or regardless this time next year. We don’t want to have another spent wondering where we’ll be living in a year and have the worry of another deposit or finding storage. It’s been a stressful few months!

Obviously we would expect to contribute to utility bills, grocery bills etc when we move in to my parents house and have estimated we will be able to save £500 each per month and still be able to give my parents the amount we’ve agreed with them. This means in approximately two years, we could have a £20,000 deposit for a house and a mortgage less than our current monthly rent.

I have been asked why we can’t save the money while still living in rented accommodation, and, having gone over our finances we could save the money with our rent remaining as is. It would take a lot longer than our two year goal and we would have little spare for hobbies, weekends away etc, after adding in rent, food, vehicle costs and bills. 

This is the best decision for us both, at the moment. I say at the moment as, until we move in, we don’t know if it will work – all four of us living under one roof, but I like to think it will.

I wish we’d thought of this idea ourselves, but it was actually my dad’s suggestion after I talked to him about how much our rent could go up this or next financial year. We discussed it at length and then Ryan and I discussed it and then the four of us discussed it together.

We came up with a proposal, after some negotiating. I think it’s very important for atblell parties to be honest, open and willing to compromise. 

Here are a few things we talked about.

  1. Set boundaries. It can be easy to fall back into the parent-child roles as you lived those roles for many years. We agreed to spend family time together but also noted Ryan and I would want to spend time alone, as would they. We weren’t being rude if we watched a film upstairs or went to the pub down the road.
  2. Share our schedule with them and agreed if we wouldn’t be home, or would be home later than expected, we let them know. It’s just courteous to do so. 
  3. Respect that we all work and get up for work at different hours. Keep the TV low after 10pm.
  4. Clean up after ourselves! Haha, that’s a given but mum felt the need to day it.
  5. Help out with the daily, weekly and monthly chores.
  6. What we would contribute to financially. 
  7. What the house guest policy is.
  8. Share our moving in date
  9. Discuss furniture storage – we’re moving from a two bed apartment to one bedroom. We will need somewhere safe and secure to store our belongings for up to two years.
  10. Share our moving out plan – we discussed our goal amount and how long we expected it would take to achieve this.

Outlining your expectations can alleviate any frustration you or your parents may feel adjusting to the new living arrangements. Although I don’t think it will be too difficult, I don’t know yet, but have a feeling the arrangement will work very well. I get along very well with my parents and they really like Ryan and enjoy our company. 

Have you ever been in or thought about this situation? How do you think you’d address it? Any suggestions?



  • Deborah Kos

    September 20, 2018 at 20:52

    If anyone has to move in with their parents, there should be ground rules. I feel that if you are not living under your own roof, then you need to follow the owner’s rules. Certain chores are a must. I agree with your 10 tips.

    1. Kim

      September 21, 2018 at 06:47

      Thanks Deborah. I’m now back living with them and have been since June – I’m planning to do an update on the post soon. It’s definitely important to set ground rules.

  • Georgie

    March 29, 2017 at 06:52

    This is an interesting situation and I am really thankful that you opened up and wrote about it. Housing and rent prices are going up in every country, and buying a house is very near impossible on the average salary, no one wants to be millions of dollars in debt. At the same time, not everyone wants to live with their parents. But I understand this is the best decision for you and I am so happy that your parents are very supportive and also willing to accomodate for what you need, as well as giving you some space.

    I currently live with my parents and I have never lived away from them. I honestly can’t wait to get out, and that will be this year. I can definitely afford to rent, with my fiancé also chipping in, but I also sense that my parents may also even try to convince me to stay just so I can save up extra. My parents are unfortunately not as cool as yours, and I have problems with their inability to keep the house completely clean, and there’s a lot of clutter, all things that would drive me mad. I appreciate my parents wanting to support us, but at this stage we can definitely fend for ourselves.

    There are definitely places for cheap rent in Sydney, and if I am ever struggling I think I would rather go for a cheaper option than stay with my parents. 😆 I very much would rather be away from them. Not to mention, my home right now is in the middle of suburbia and that makes a lot of things in my daily life difficult, like a long commute and struggling to get home at a reasonable time when I go to social events, because there is always a “last train home”.

  • Kya

    March 26, 2017 at 09:27

    It’s really great that you were able to discuss so much about this with everyone, so it was all very clear what the expectations are. Having those conversations should surely make it much more likely to work and I hope it does. I am glad that you have had support from family and friends. There is nothing wrong with doing this, especially if your parents are fine with it. Really, you’re giving yourself a really great chance of having your own home and being able to do it a lot sooner. 😀 Which is awesome.

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